My friend calls it The Game. It’s a game she played with her husband, and decided wasn’t fun anymore. They’ve decided it’s not worth it. They quit playing because neither of them ever win the game. Ever.
The silly thing is, as wives, we play this Game by ourselves about 98.7% of the time. (Sometimes (rarely) we include our husbands in the Game with a verbal sneak attack.)
And that because my job is hard, it’s valuable, and in turn, I’m valuable. (ouch)
“Look! Look at the spit up and boogers and food and dog hair on my shirt. Just notice it! Notice how much I did today!”“Your daughter had a streak of teenage emotions today! (age 8) Just hours of pouting.”“He didn’t take a nap all day so he fussed all afternoon, and I could hardly make dinner. He’s been hanging on my leg since 3pm.”“They were fighting over a piece of string today. String! Crying, hitting, yelling, the whole bit.”“Look at me. Isn’t my job hard? Don’t you want to praise me for what a good job I did? Isn’t it much harder than sitting at your desk or sending emails or dealing with co-workers? (Say yes, say yes…)”
“I know it doesn’t matter to my husband. I mean, it matters if we have space to walk around in our home, but he doesn’t mind the mess. If he knows the kids are fed, they played and had fun today, I dealt with a crying child, they learned something new in their lessons, and they were loved, it doesn’t matter how clean the house is.”
Let’s make a commitment to throw this Game in the trash. It’s no fun. Nobody wins. Nobody gets a prize. Nobody even likes playing it, really.
I will enjoy the playground and snow cones and play dough and messes and (not really enjoy, but understand) the fussing and pouting and fights and cranky.
It’s what I signed up for when I said yes to “mommy.”
And I will throw that Game in the trash, because it’s also what he signed up for it when he said yes to “daddy” plus his “real” job.
Saying yes to being a team: now that’s a game I can play.