I was a mother myself and had another on the way. There was little to no room for excuse.
Yet still, I was an awful friend.
We’d been friends since college and were both in the season of our lives when we were birthing babies. My husband was up for a relocation and happily it was moving us closer to friends and family. On one of my days out house hunting, I arranged to meet with my friend and more importantly, meet her newest baby boy.
On the morning we planned to meet up, I gave her a call to make sure all was good to go. She replies – “Yes, but I need to run to the store for breast pads.” She wanted to move our meeting time back by 30 minutes, so she could run her quick errand.
She did. We met. All was good.
Except, for years after, that day has stuck in my mind. Why in the world did I not offer to stop and get her some dang breast pads? How easy would it have been for me, who was childless mind you, to stop – instead of her having to load up a two year old and a newborn all for the sake of the breast pads?
It wasn’t until a few months later when I gave birth to my second child that it hit me. I had no clue at the time I was so awful.
But, after having the second, my eyes were opened.
My best friend lives in Boston. And since forever, she has been there for me. So, of course she made her way to Texas to meet the newest addition to the family.
She comes into the house first off with a surprise for my two-year-old son and then plays with him and offers me adult chit-chat that I had been lacking the last few weeks. Then, she helps to bathe the babies and assists with putting them to bed. We finally sit down on the couch and continue our conversations…
I tell her that since I had the baby, I do a lot of looking up at the ceiling fan when I am rocking. And as my best friend, I confide in her that the dust on the fan had been driving me nuts, but I was too tired (some may say lazy) to do anything about it. Without a word, she gets out a chair and a wet rag and proceeds to chat with me while she cleans my fans.
She cleaned my ceiling fans, people. I couldn’t even pick up breast pads.
Truly, I know that I am not really a horrible friend, but it sure feels that way in retrospect. Since then, I’ve had the opportunity to redeem myself and am much more aware of the mommy courtesies I should adhere to. Show up for your friend. Hold the baby while she showers, offer to go run her errands, play with the siblings, clean her ceiling fans…
Whatever you think you can do to make her day a little easier, do just that.
Because you never know… one day you may be in desperate need of some breast pads yourself.