A procrastinator is a person who delays or puts things off — like work, chores, or other actions — that should be done in a timely manner.
When you get into your 30’s, you begin to look at yourself and see what you’ve become. In my twenties, I was still trying to figure out who I was and the kind of person I hoped to be. But now, here I sit and I know exactly who I’ve become. I’ve learned to embrace both the positive and the not so positive of the person that I am. I believe that accepting that and owning it is the best thing we can do. Now obviously if who I am is hurtful to others or causes me to be alone because no one wants to associate with me, well, there’s a need for change. But if I can look at myself and feel confident about who I am, that’s a really great place to be. Today as I look at myself, one very real description of me is that I’m a PROCRASTINATOR. Hang with me here, I do try to live by the quote:
Procrastination on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine.
I see the date on the calendar, the event, the project due date, the responsibility that will in fact require my time. I see it there. But even at 37 years old, it doesn’t seem to matter. Honestly, I’ve been this way most of my life. I have, however, discovered a little bit about why I live like this. And I do realize that those around me are affected by my actions. But please, hear me out….
#1 The Pressure Seems to Fuel Me
I find myself feeling somewhat more creative when I wait until there’s a deadline fast approaching. Now, in saying this, the downfall is that I come up with great ideas that would have worked out beautifully had I given myself plenty of time to execute them. So what tends to happen is that I frantically pull together a project as my emotions slowly unravel. The project/event/responsibility usually looks good, but I find myself saying every time, that I should have started earlier preparing and I wouldn’t feel so frazzled.
#2 My Calendar is Full of Creative Ideas
Because I enjoy events and activities and projects, I find my calendar with very little “white space”. It’s hard for me to think ahead because I feel as though there’s really no time for that. Now I know part of this is personality and part of this is basic “adulting”, but I have started to really recognize that my personality can’t really afford to be busy if I want to do things well. There are things that are important to me as a creative and there are things that NEED to be a priority because of the busy schedule that I keep. It’s really hard for me to use the word NO and not let my people pleaser personality get all up in a frenzy. Which again, takes up my “white space” and leaves me procrastinating. But again, at 37, I’m starting to see what I can and cannot handle.
#3 I Will Forget
I’m extremely forgetful. I know this and those who know me well also know that I must write things down to remember goals and tasks that need to be completed. I find myself waiting until the last minute so I’m completely focused on that task. If I prepare weeks in advance, I can’t focus and compartmentalize the different things I have going on. I know, I know, this is a real problem. I told you these were confessions.
#4 Avoidance at it’s Finest
There are several things that I choose to put off because I just simply DO NOT want to do them. You know, like TAXES, cleaning out closets, grocery shopping, dinner or making that phone call instead of just sending a text or email. I think this reason is one that a lot of people deal with so I saved it for last so I end on a little bit of solidarity. When it comes to these things that I avoid, I have to have a full blown conversation with myself and talk myself off a cliff in order to just “grab the thistle” and get the task completed. And we all know that once the task is finished, we realize that the task was way worse in our heads than it actually was in real life. But for some reason, I don’t seem to remember this the next time I avoid some task…sigh.
So in closing, I speak to any other Procrastinator Moms out there, know that you are not alone and I sit here (completely avoiding the completion of my taxes) holding my fist high in the air in complete solidarity with you. No one is perfect and I’m embracing that, though I’m a procrastinator, at the end of the day, I did get some of the things accomplished!